Am here!

And so it came to be this isolation that I am

I can only look to me to find the way it all began

this confusion, constant hunger for something more than this

I strive to find this being that I envision, yet seem to miss.

Could it be that I am empty-or maybe a little lost?

Could it be that I am lonely,or seek happiness at any cost?

This never-ending Something that I am living deep inside,depicts the illusion of myself and all I have to hide.

Sometimes i just brakedown and cry

I want to be pretty

Her eyes are looking at me.

As I look back,

I see the pain.
The feeling of despair

is so evident,

but no one else seems to notice.
I can see her anguish,

her suffering it is almost too much to bear.
She is trapped in a world in which no one understands.

She is fighting to survive;
each day is harder than the day before.

Why doesn't anyone else see this?
I want to help her,

but I feel restricted by some unknown force.
Her pain is so overwhelming.

I'm still looking into her eyes,
I can't turn from them.

They are so foreign yet so for familiar!
I can feel her anguish,

the pain takes hold and will not release me
it pulls me into this empty void.

This terrible reality which is her world!
A world she cannot relinquish herself from.

Finally, I am able to blink my eyes,
and she is still looking back at me in the mirror.

Which do you choose?

I ask myself whether I want to be As open as a rose fresh and fragrant

or to be hard and cold like a rockThat weathers all that comes.

For an open rose is thrown into A weathering storm torn and shredded it shall be.

While a rock can be hit by lightning,Rolled by thunder, blown by wind, and poured upon Yet it dries and seems to be unharmed.

Some say you can't be charmed?

While others are only harmed.

For I do not know any answers I only have the questions in my mind

Those of which swirl like the sandIn the middle of the Sahara Desert.

For I do not know which I favor

The rose or the rock.

The Fire in my eyes

So alot of people are asking me why do i only write about sad things. The thing is not everything i write about happens to me, i usually write about my experiences but also about things that i see everyday and things that i can relate to or anyone can relate to. But the truth is pain shared is pain lessened,I just love to write and for some reason i only write about sad things i cant seem to write about happy things and or diffrent things. Well on this post i tried a diffrent mood.

Taking your hand Fingers to my lips I want to love every inch of you

Taste every part of your body As if I can drink your loves blood.

Through your very pores I want to get lost in your eyes

Consumed by your kiss set my body on fire

Quench the fire in my blood

With sweet caresses Touch my soul with your passion

Lay down beside me Feel my body crying for you Let's get lost in each otherTouching, exploring, tasting

We will exceed passion, go beyond bliss For this is our nightWant me, like no other Need you, like the air that I breatheTogether, one mind, one soulFused in the heat of passionate loveExisting in this momentForever

Story of my life

My heart bleeds quietly in times of loneliness.

It yearns to find warmth and happiness ...

Yet it somehow eludes me.

My eyes seek out visions in times of want.

They gaze endlessly through the blackness that envelops them ...

Yet they cannot see the light.

My ears listen earnestly in times of silence.

They search for familiar sounds to comfort and console ...

Yet they cannot penetrate the darkness that surrounds me.

My arms reach out frantically in times of despair.

They seek strength and compassion to enfold me ...

Yet they find nothing substantial to enwrap.

My mind cries out desperately in times of solitude.

It poses intense questions that demand answers ...

Yet there are none to be found.

Dont want to be gone!

No one knows what I'm feeling My heart is pounding I'm full of sadness and rage I need someone to please let me out of this cageI have seen so much and felt so much pain But no one knows what I feel I do not tell my hardest ties Hold my hand and look me in the eyes Take me back when there were no worries or whys I miss the free flyingI miss letting my hair down and running around Someone help me up and take me away from here I'm ready to be on my way Let me close my eyes and fade with the day I hurt deep down inside So many mixed emotions Take me by the hand and walk me with me by the ocean Help me I'm falling into the hole I'm scared I don't want to lose my soul The lights are dimming Your voice is growing faint i want

to say i love you, i will miss you so hold me

and whisper in my ear tell me you love me

i will always be near.

Empty

If you look inside my eyes,

you would see how much i cry

you would see how much anger and pain i feel inside

but what you would see the most

is how hard it is to stay strong

when nothing is right and everithing is wrong.

JusT Let me be!

I cry myself to sleep because it's the only thing I can do right,

I avoid people because I would rather be alone,

I dress in black so I can be invisible at night,

I stay out late to avoid the fights that go on at home,

I remain misunderstood because no one wants to understand me,

I play my music loud so no one can hear me cry,

I rebel because no one will let things be,

I make a scene so everyone will notice am ALIVE

I cut my wrists so I know I'm not numb,

I sleep in late because I'm afraid of the day,

I don't try because everyone just assumes I'm dumb,

I don't talk because I have nothing to say,

I guess I don't need to be understood, I’ll be alright,

I just need people to leave me alone!

Or I might just crumble out in the dark in my own darkness.

Desperately waiting

My life is waiting For you to come
And hold my hand
And walk with me through tomorrow.
My world is waiting For my life to begin
And time to again Have meaning.
All and everything,
And I,
Await the day of joy,
The day of life,
The day of love.
Just the day for you to come.

I can..

I can write the saddest poem

A poem with emotion he left at home

he left a heart hollow and alone Thinking that the problem is all my own

I can write the saddest words

A piece of paper with letters in herds But does this mean people will feel my pain?

Can they feel the wetness of the falling rain?

I can write the saddest phrase

A silent significat other left me in a craze One day now another day vanished

I fell for a love that left me famished

I can write the saddest song In his heart I guess I didn't belong

So does this mean my life is through?

Does this mean I don't know what to do?

I can write the saddest expression

But will it cure an endless depression?

Imagination...

Locked in my cage, I stare at the emptiness;

this very emptiness possesses my soul - we are one.

The months pass, as do the years, yet as time progresses, it loses all relevance.

I sit here trapped in a recurring nightmare,

never to awaken.

I feed on my own self-pity - I never hunger.

I merely exist, captive in this asylum, biding my time;

my sole gratification, inebriated isolation.

The door to my cage is ajar, as is often the case,

yet it's pointless to leave;

each journey leads me back to this God-forsaken realm of suffering and despair.

Her sad song

Sitting in her room,

All day long.She is sitting there singing,

Her own sad song.

A song about misery,

A song about hope.A song about a problem,and how to cope.

She wants someone to love her,

She wants someone to care.

But when she turns around,

Nobody is ever there.She wants a family,and some friends that she can call her own.

She wants all these things,So she doesn't have to be alone.

She's hoping someone will love her,

She's hoping someone will care.

She hears something and turns around,

And notices that nobody's there.

New Begining

When I woke up this morning I decided to Begin a life that is Completely brand new I'm sorry to say But it's true

Yes my darling I'm leaving you

The affair you had Broke my heart in two But still I thought That I could forgive you

I'm sure you're sorry

And you have regrets

But I just can't Seem to forget The hurtful words You said that day

When you decided To just walk away

I hope you understand What it is I have to do

I hope you understand

Why I'm leaving you

The Unknown

It sure is funny how a piece of paper controls your life.How something that's in your pocket slowly kills you inside.It causes a fight and makes your family throw you aside.And if stolen or obtained wrong it can lead you to die.It's an invincible pride.It's the reason why these poor people cry.And all that paper in your pockets just a countdown to die.whether a ten or a five.It all adds up to zero in time.Just open your eyes and think of the world after you die.Slowly listen to this rhyme and the pain that's inside.reach in your pocket and ask yourself one more time.How long do I have to live or have you already died

Fear

Run with fear of things that have happened and things to come.

I fear coming home

As my heart skips a beat.

I run faster then I ever have before.

Fear consumes me. I stop...

But I haven't stopped breathing.

I step up to fear and find I can overcome it.

With fear gone strength back I see it as my

past, present, and future

Fear is nothing but my worst thoughts.

nothing that braver can't overcome!!!

A small Child

A small child,

trapped in between confusion and fear

but threw all confusion and fear she manages to pull through

to see those she cares about.

she now lives for them.

breathe for her future and fight for her goals

and dreams;

Don’t take her hand and pretend to make it better;

cause you wont.

shes not A quitter;she’s tried everything past her limit's to make wise changes and focus

on what counts SHE!

If I

If I gave you my hand,

would you give me yours too

To never let me go,

whenever I need you

If I gave you my arms,

would you give me yours too

To always hold me tight,

the way I’ve always held you

If I gave you my heart,

would you give me yours too

To feel all the love,

that was brought on by you

If I made you a promise,

would you promise me too

To love me forever,

the way I promised to love you.

What do you see?

What do you see when you look at me?
Do you see my smiles?
Do you see the laughter?
Do you see all the happiness?
Or do you see past the front to what really lies beneath?
Do you see the walls I put up to keep them out?
Do you see all the tears that stained my face?
Do you see the fears that I try to hide?
Do you see the scars inside of me?
Those scars that wont let me free

Those scars that run deep inside

Those scars that mark my soul

Those scars I try so hard to hide So do you see the truth in me

or just the truth I want you to see?

A|ive

If am dead right now

i know it was at youre hands

no one else in heaven or hell had power over me

please dont cry

i was dead before i met you

and i was born the day you love me

and my love for you will always keep me aive

Never Forget

This writing is in dedication to my Grandma that passed away. Its also in dedication to those who lost aloved one on Sept. 11.

Grandmom...

I still can't believe that you are gone.

I can't believe it's been this long.

You disappeared out of nowhere,Now everyone desperately wants you back here.

I hope that when I die, I am with you,so we can talk and tell about everything we've been through.

When you left, everyone cried.We couldn't believe that you had died.

Mom took it the worst when she sawShe wishes to God that you hadn't died at all.

Everyone else was so hurt, it was like all of our faces were pushed into the dirt.

Everyday I think about you,I know you are watching over me too.

When we saw you smile, it brightened our day...I just wish you were still here so with us you could stay.

What happens to a dream deffered?

Today am doing my blog on poetry as always but am not going to post one of my writings, today i will post this popular poem by Langston Hugues one of my favorite writers. This is a very known poem by him i would say one of his most known. Since am doing my essay about dreams i felt like sharing this poem.

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

Time has changed me

I look at my clock and realized that time has changed me and I am not the young innocent girl I used to be. I look to the sky, and thank god for keepin me alive and i ask myself how can I live in lies?, I stare down at the ground, change the smile into a frown as I open up my eyes and see that my good life is now gone, with no hopes to look to the past, but with a spirit to look at the future and stand up for my dreams, the things I believe. i hold my heart on my hand, now being really careful of every man, no one is sincere no one is real, I am just glad i was able to write what I feel.now I ask god to forgive my sins, and offer me new things, I pray for my mistakes to be erased and with hope of never having it face to face, now I got faith, that everyday will give me knowledge,

Just thoughts...

So today i had nothing to do and so i was just laying down and memories seem to overcome my mind. SO i decided to write, and somehow this came to my mind....




A young girl sits in a corner,

praying her life will change.

Not many people care for her,

she doesn't like to complain.

She's tried to take her life away, hoping to take away the pain.

doesn't matter what she has to display,

til she hears that pouring rain.

Her road of life is blurry,

her path becomes overtaken.

She doesn't like to be in a hurry, only she can't stop shaking.She hates her way of life, but she manages to live.

It doesn't seem right,

the girl who couldn't give her sad life for a happier one.

Untitled

If Love is a Universal emotion, then the pain it often causes (some might say inevitably causes) is equally Universal.

Yet, that only begs the more important question: Why do sad poems and stories of emotional pain bring each of us a strange kind of pleasure?
I'm sure the psychologists have an answer to that question.

And I'm just as sure it's a different answer than a poet would give.
Maybe, in the end,

the answer really isn't so complex.

A burden born by one can often grow too heavy to bear.

Maybe, in the end, each of us knows that sharing our pain is the

only way we can live with the pain